Stupid Things I've Done

So here's my idea for a new project. A quarter zine filed with one page stories about personal stupidity. Stuf like this one story Mike told me:

When I was in college I decided to try and be a smart-ass one day. I started talking about how the guy who created MTV did so because he realized that teenagers had short ... ... ...

And then the teacher jumps in with "attention spans"?

Now, I could probably do an encyclopedia with just myself alone. Or better yet Mike. But I figured I'd open it up to whoever wanted to submit. So here are the rules. It's got to fit on a quarter sheet page, so no more than one or two paragraphs. If you've got an image to go with it then send it. But Adi, Rob, and the Midget are going to illustrate. (They don't really know this yet.) I'm not including anything that would force the zine into the skin box so keep it at least pg-13.

There's not a specific due date for this...yet. It'll depend on the submissions. But get started now.

Post what you've got here or you can send it to us.

So like get writing.

--CJ

Jesus Crispies

Here's the deal. If you are in any way sensitive to unapologetic negative opinions about religion and specifically Christianity, this isn't the zine for you.

Jesus Crispies is written by Ali. He calls on agnostics to jump off the fence, questions our national respect for the first amendment, and thinks church would be more fun if Jesus had laser vision. It's honest and it's funny. And unlike many who write on this subject, it's not full of anti-Christian bigotry (we wouldn't be carying it if it was).

My only issue is that I don't believe Ali when he says he's an athiest. It's more like he's pissed off at Christians and Christianity and the way he expresses his anger is by claiming God doesn't exist. But none of that makes any difference about the truth of the fact that being non-religious in a country where religion dominates is hard.

So seriously hit us up or come by the table sometime and pick up a copy of Jesus Crispies.

Zine Review: Blackstitch Art Studio

If you are a young teen or you fancy unicorns, flowers, and love spells, this little pink booklet is for you. Armed with girl power, Annette Padilla has authored a zine filled with easy crafts, recipes, riddles, and art. An easy read, with nothing objectionable (sorry, pervs). Review by DeDe

The History of PXS Zine DIstro

I want to tell you a story. It's how we changed are name and why.

I love bands and when I would interview them I would have to explain that yes, we were a paper zine, not an e-zine and I did it so many times I created a short hand for it where I would say, zine (paper-xerox-staples) which I thought described the process.

Now amoung zine writers that's a duh! but most people, even people who grew up writing zines, it was a big surprise that people still took the time to make zines the old fashioned way: we cut and paste paper, xeroxed it (common parlance for copy) and then stapled each issue together.

People say xerox to mean copy the way they Kleenex to mean tissue. And so, when we picked a name, calling ourselves paper-xerox-staples made sense. It said what we did and who we were. We even made a banner. It was perfect. Perfect lasted about seven months and then I got this:

From: Seana.Watts@xerox.com
To: PAPER-XEROX-STAPLES.COM@domainsbyproxy.com
CC: gomek@comcast.net
Subject: Action Letter
Date: Wednesday,
January 30, :15:49 PM

Your site at www.paper-xerox-staples.com has been reported to us as a potentially infringing site as it contains the "XEROX" trademark. Please be advised that the "XEROX" trademark is intellectual property owned exclusively by Xerox Corporation and may not be used without written permission. Only Xerox Corporation is allowed to own domain names comprised of and/or containing its valuable trademarks. We are currently investigating your ownership and will contact you further if this website remains owned by Domains By Proxy Inc. and the operators of this site within the next 60 days.

By this e-mail note also be informed that Xerox Corporation does not waive any rights or remedies that it may have against you in the event that your actions exceed those discussed herein.

Seana L. Watts
Trademark & Copyright Counsel
Xerox Corporation
45 Glover Avenue
Norwalk, CT 06856
Telephone:
Fax:
*admitted in NY only

Now I had no idea Xerox Corp has such a lock down on the word Xerox but if you look it up, it says the copywritten process xerox not the common parlance for copy. They own it.I had no idea that when you say go xerox your ass for me so I can dream about it while you're gone, I was actaully advertising for the Xerox Corp. And in there I thought I was just a big perv. It turns out I'm a theif too.


They own the motherfucking word. They own the sound of the word. A word, one word, five letters. And they own it any where you stick it. In this case, they object to seeing it in our URL, mixed in with other words. It is illegal to use Xerox mixed in with other words in a URL. Pardon my repetition but this is stunning, for instance, if you named your website and this is just a mde up idea name not a real one Seanna: www.fuckingxeroxshitballswhatwhatabunchofgreedyasscrabs.com, you would need to remove the word Xerox. They own it even though you are clearly not try to sell anything on the backs of the Xerox Corp, you're saying the Xerox corp are greedy fucks. They own it. You couldn't have a web page called www.xeroxcansuckmysweatyballs.com. You guessed it. They own the word Xerox, forget that you want them to toss your salad. They only want their name back.

So we relented being that our legal budget consists of Rob doing his best Cliff Clavin inpersonation, we are changing our name to pxs distro which curiously you only need remember was once called paper-xerox-staples distro but isn't any more. No more using the word Xerox. No more Xeorox, xerox, xerox xerox. No more Xeorx. One more thing it doesn't mean paper-xerox-staples. pxs is just pxs much in the same fashion that "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds" doesn't stand for anything. Just ask John.

Please change any links to us. Please come to shows where we're selling zines. We love you. It's just a name change. We're the same goofy ass bastards we were before. And... www.fuckyouxerox.com
Love, Mike and the Creeps at Fake Life

Whew, connected again!

Ahhhh, it's like a breath of fresh air to be connected after so long. How little I realized just how much I depended on connectability and that gihugic research and information retrieval tool we call the internet. Doesn't everyone use it for that?

Simple things like recipies. Even if I had made a dish a dozen times or so I would still run to google "jambalaya", peruse a dozen recipies and instantly my memory was recharged over that certain special ingredient that I kept forgetting each time I'd make it. Even if the ingredient was something different each time. Go figure.

Or the long lonely nights spent over black coffee and a pack and a half of cigarrettes, reading Kerouac while listening to some beat thing in the background. My own personal cafe. Of course I never thought to actually pick up a book while I was disconnected! Just drank a butt-load of coffee. Hard to sip it without making a mess that way.

But now, I'm connected! Hey, Bonnie, I wasn't mad at you! The reason I wasn't talking to you is that I was disconnected! Hey, Capital One, it's not that I was purposely not paying you on time, it's that I was disconnected! Hey, you there you beautiful National Geographic, Human Migration Project Website, it's not that your endless tales of genetic tailspins and flights across the globe got boring, hell no. I couldn't visit you because, well you know!

Now of course I have no excuse for continuing my random education or contributing to this blog. Thank you internet. Thank you.